I fucked up

Coming at you loaded my mistake indeed
I’m paying for this
More than you I’m saying sorry

Lets dictate facts
We have never met
You’ve hidden behind your keyboard this entire time
Do you know how much was taken out of context
The words up the path could have better been said
But I’m not the only one you’ve led up the line
A verbal conversation was all what’s in need
You didn’t and don’t have to be anything else
But denying the chance to hear your voice
It was fucking with my head
Knowledge in what it all meant to be
You said friendship yes its entirely everything
I could find you
A phone call there
If you don’t show up there
A further phone call up the road you’ll be there
To prove the point i would, but I won’t
You’ve made me look like I’d spike your drink
You see how it is for me
The damage I’ve seen from you not trusting me
How predatory Im now seen to be
It was everything I was trying not to be
Not another one who couldn’t be trusted I’d say fair call but that’s below the belt
Do you understand now how fucked up my shit can be
Your ego stroking posts
Youll air the dirty washing then move on you wont care
I know you’ve finally squealed
Told them all my pitfalls and my ordeals
Its all about my drug habits I know the deal
Give yourself all the justification you need
I can feel the razor sharp stab wounds in my back
I do fuck up people’s lives
Same as me using speed for kicks
But now it’s cost me you
I’d give it up to try and fix, but now it consoles me from this
There you go I’m admitting I’m sick
I came to you for help
Next time I’ll swallow my pistol
This has proved it your friendship untruthful
You wanted to be friends show me what that word means
I’m still waiting to see
Stupid me expecting you to be something I need
One thing I’ve learnt you’re not a very honest person are you?
Disloyal and dishonesty you’ve conned not only me

My bad approaching you loaded won’t happen again will it.

To Deny Hope

The more absorbed by it

The further away we become

Inside we are tearing a deaf scream

Inside we realize we are the ones that are confused 

But we fail to consciously acknowledge it

You can see it I can tell

I will belong to you

The cut of your dress

To look you in the shoe

Shame in my eyes

Could never meet your own

Then the rest would really know what it’s like

The screaming grows within us

Silence in a pool of dreams

Led by a charmers glance 

Burn your doubts and tumble away dreams

Gift it back with song

It belongs to us

Give me the words

You can see

The rest of them don’t

I know you believe
No matter what she sees 

Tell my lover to come back to me

Share this:

apuesto a que se vea bien en la pista de baile

here is something in you that satisfies the emotional hunger
You are the beauty of your birth flower
Let you be my introduction to your culture
I will be your eternal flame ever after
Loyal and worthy to your name
But it starts with you
Your People food language and music
Rythmitic beats of your forefathers the key to our answer
You are a beautiful flower

Children And The Playgrounds Shame

The beat at the moment is fast
Those trumpet jazz tones are a little slow
I want to hear the sax bleed up the tempo
Those drum hands going a little faster
I can’t swing that low to low
No duwop for me
This is the way I hold myself afar
I am something you’ll never be
Take me to the stars
Envelope my dreams a misspelt letter
Astral postage another cape
An infant in the plane
Smoothly again
Infants playing a game
Spit in the faces against the grain
Where the rolling hills end
Beyond the claps of thunder
Beyond the bridge trolls grasp
Whisper no Jazz monotone
Give me an instrument of death
Somewhere I can start again.

Home

At the far gable end two small windows,
which were barred on the outside,
flanked a small narrow room,
which was portioned off from the rest of the room.
It was used as a dressing room for amateur dramatics.

Purse Kept Gems

To search outwards defines strength,

To wander in the fields of black roses and purple orchids,

Dance around and around under the late summer sun,

Tumblers of pink lemonade, gin and chock full of ice cubes,

Straws and a slice of lime to accommodate,

Gather yourself and meet us there,

We can watch the sun cast it’s light across the evening setting sky.

This art does hurt.

The fusion of good words,

Entwine the threads of conversations,

Little purse kept gems,

Cropping up matters of hope,

Decadent the poison is to be removed,

A vortex of whims dragged below the lavender flower beds,

The chopped heads of flowers will fall to the earth,

Dusty and devout throughout the late afternoon,

Struggling for breath in between,

Drowned in a river of mothers weep and pink lemonade.

Use the Phone

He thought there’s something about smart women who don’t put up with iguanas that think they’re dragons,
She was a lady of many hats,
Enticed gentlemen a many,
Never far from center attention on the train stations platform in the town of Soup,
Never once did she catch the train from there,
She kept the majority on virtual threads,
Fed them tales of animals she loved all,
She could call him but hadn’t bothered,
It would never happen,
He had given up,
Did he love her?
Of course he did,
Question was did she?
Somewhere in the distance a phone is ringing unanswered.

Flesh

​A great poet wrote,
“Nobody finds the one,”
I agree!
We drink and smoke too much,
Beat one another when we’ve had enough,
Don’t take care of ourselves,
To be kind seems unattainable,
To encounter the flesh,
Between sheets of different beds we crawl into,
Our hearts and minds fuelled by desire of someone,
Organs of flesh,
Flesh and fumbling exploratry emotions ,
We never find the one,
We fill garbage tips,
We fill hospitals,
We fill mental wards,
We fill prisons,
We fill coffins.

Self Esteem

​Naked before the eyes of them all

A reinvention of time

The seconds becoming minutes shedding layers of skin

Clean and clear morning sap

He breathes in anticipation 

The comments of opinions once more

He casts a shadow of doubts

Backs his ideas up

Carrys on

Even if its only him who believes 

Alone he’ll go the way its always been

Making something from nothing once again

Nothing to loose everything to gain

But nothing becomes complete if it has no mistakes 

Failure the gravy of those who’ll poke with sticks of disdain 

Give it up walk away 

He ponders

No help the cause 

Its a global initiative 

We are pioneers of a dying breed.

The Cost

The cost

No more cake the bowl remains empty

Of any stories

Pork pies of lies

Why give it up

Why say no

Who made it so

Played it to the beat

Easy meat

Prey on the weak

Exonerated it all

When your claws peirce enough to draw blood

Satisfying the hungers of thirst and taste

Baffle the culled with your minds dexterity

Inching farther away

Inch by inch

With each keystroke

Shaken down by every brush of wind

 

 

Out beyond the pines at the edge of town

The winds throughput carry us home.